Xanax, Implant Surgery, and a Safe Ride Home

17 05 2012

What a day! Do you want to see??

What? Take my shirt off?!  I got a tooth implant, you perv, not a new set of twins!  Just because I’m still looped out of my mind doesn’t mean I’ll get confused, either, so quit trying.

So, I hate the dentist. And for damn good reason, too. I have terrible teeth.  Well, more specifically, I have terrible enamel. My teeth are fairly straight, but they do cool things like crumble out of my head and succumb to cavities like a submissive little puppy. So lame.

After some horrible dentistry in college, I’ve had an empty root canal with no crown on it. Talk about sexy, right? I would have left it there forever, with the cost of dental work these days, but the empty shell tooth was basically rotting in my head and causing big issues for the teeth around it. Laaaaame.

Now that I have insurance, the lack of which caused this whole mess to start with, I decided to finally start investing in my teeth. After all, eating is one of my favorite past-times, and I certainly don’t want to mess with that! Unfortunately, I’ve let it go too long, the tooth needed to come out and I needed an implant. I didn’t really know what that meant, but ok. I need teeth to chew, and I get cranky if I go too long with out stuffing my face with deliciousness.

First, my empty rool canal tooth had to come out. Let me tell you what a day at the park that was. A simple extraction, they said, an easy procedure they said, maybe 30 minutes long, they said.

Two excruciating hours later, the exhausted dentist removed the last little piece of my old tooth. My tooth shattered repeatedly during the process, and the old doc had to yank, pull, tug, and wrestle each piece out. So much fun! I felt bad for the dentist; wore the old guy out. And that was just to get the stupid tooth out!!

Six months of healing and it’s time for stage two: the implant. No big deal right? Well, that’s what I thought. Until today.

That’s right, today was GO TIME. I haven’t thought anything of it…until yesterday. I started getting a bit antsy and didn’t sleep well. So that’s why they gave me Xanax to take before my appointment!

I should just let you know right now that my body does not do well with meds of any sort. Pain killers especially totally jack me up. My dentist assured me I would be fine with ibprofin, so I wasn’t worried. I almost thought about not even taking the Xanax, especially since I had no idea what it would do to me. But I was a nervous train wreck today, so I popped two before my appointment and tried to calm myself.

Ha! Calm myself?! Have you ever taken Xanax?? I felt like I was flooooaaaattting…. I kept smiling, giggling, for no particular reason. My world slowed down and I drifted to and fro around the house getting my stuff ready to go. It’s amazing I got there with everything I needed.  J was driving me (good man) and laughed at me as I happily drifted out to the car then almost fell asleep on the 10 minute drive to town. La-la-la-dee-da….

Once in the dentist chair, while they got their sterile on, I stared dreamily out the window, oblivious to the hub-bub around me. The numbing gel starting work and I could no longer tell if I was drooling or not. I also couldn’t remember if I should care or not….

The shots hurt just a bit, then I lay back with my eyes closed as the doc got to work. He was talking to me throughout, but all I really got was “a little incision, like this…” “first this size drill…” “we’re moving up to the bigger drill size…” He could have told me they were buckling me in for a trip to the moon and I wouldn’t have known the difference. I opened my eyes when I heard a strangely familiar sound, but so very out of place. Was that a rachet?? Sure enough, old doc was racheting the implant screw into the jaw bone. I actually started giggling. The assistant smiled at me. “Pretty cool, isn’t it?” I just drooled back at her with sleepy eyes.

The ending was not as happy as rest of the ordeal. The stitches hurt. The way they had to pull my lip back really hurt, and a little feeling was coming back as he pried my jaws even farther apart to really get in there. Maybe I should have taken that third Xanax they offered….

They took an x-ray afterward and showed me the finished product. They had called J to come back for me and brought him in the room with me, so he got to see the x-ray, too. They drilled about a two inch hole into my jaw bone and then screwed a three inch metal screw into my head! Even J was pretty impressed with the image. The screw goes deeper than my other teeth, down as far as they could get before hitting a nerve. Now THAT would have ended my happy-time!

They actually brought J back there with me so he could hear the after-procedure care and precautions. My loopy state could cause me to not remember the important stuff, so J is my back-up. And the funny thing is, I don’t really remember the ride home. I know we stopped at the pharmacy to get some Tylenol to mix with my ibprofin (the only pain management I get) and then I pretty much went straight to bed once we got home. I’m so glad my beau was there to drive me home and tuck me in. He even made me soup once I woke up! I like this getting pampered business.

Boy that Xanax is good stuff! Sure made for an interesting day, that’s for sure. After about 3 hours of sleeping like the dead, I still feel pretty…strange. A little loopy, a little out of it. My stomach feels a bit off, too. Not sure what that’s all about. But I checked it out in the mirror and holy crap! There’s a SCREW IMPLANTED IN MY JAW WHERE A TOOTH SHOULD GO!!  And SIX stitches to go along with it!  Those are just like…decoration, right? I redecorated my mouth!

Now comes the greatest challenge: learning to eat just on one side, not brushing that spot in my mouth until I get my stitches out, and learning to eat on one site. You can tell what I’m most worried about: eating, of course.

When I’m a bit more lucid I might try to get a photo. It’s just so bizarre-looking. But you’ll have to follow me on facebook to get in on that action!





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