I Mustache You, How Was Your Weekend?

9 04 2013

Mine was great, thanks f0r asking!! And now I must break the tragic news: I have joined the Cult Of The ‘Stache.

Oh, come on, you know, the Cult Of The ‘Stache – all these people who have suddenly become groupies of upper-lip facial hair, though not usually on men. They wear them on t-shirts and necklaces and facebook profile pictures. They buy fake ones in sticker form and temporary tattoo form alike. I’m not sure how the Cult started or which hipster is to blame, but the phenomenon has swept our nation – it is now fashionable for women to sport a handlebar, besides the one attached to her fixie.

mustache products

You can slap a ‘stache on anything these days.

How did I come to belong to such a … facetious group? Well, my friends, it all started one dark and stormy April evening around a game of cards….

You see, last weekend our good pals from Wenatchee and Twisp came to visit. You’ve heard me brag about wild and crazy times with these cats before – we’ll call them M&M, JT, and AmS. So they arrive Friday night, meet us for dinner and a wild night out in Hood River (ha, just kidding, everything closed by 8pm) where we found dinner, beer, and a penis through a door (It was displayed as part of an ART SHOW in a WINE TASTING ROOM, I kid you not. We were as surprised as you are.). We finally made it home and crawled off to bed, prepping for a big day Saturday.

After breakfast, we set out on a great and perilous journey up into the wilds of Mount Hood. After parking and piling on as many layers as we could, we braved the near-blizzard conditions to conquer the slopes of Meadows Ski Hill. The lifts weren’t too crowded, the snow pretty fresh, but the gusts of wind that could (and WOULD) blow us back-wards and uphill – now that’s something I just wasn’t expecting. To be facing downhill with freshly waxed skis strapped firmly to my fancy new boots (shout out to my sweet pea! thanks honey) and yet NOT be moving downward, well it was trippy to say the least. I discovered I’m not fond of swinging chairlifts or having my face blasted with sleet, but we still managed to force a mega-ton of fun out of the day. The combo of my boots that felt like angel-kisses on every little toe and my high-tech skis that are probably smarter than me had me feeling like I was border-line expert…which did me no good and had me hurting in no time. But what a blast!! It was so much more fun to cruise the terrain of the greens and blues and get to ride the lifts with my buddies on skis than to attempt to connect a few turns and slam myself repeatedly into the mountain while pretending to snowboard. High-five for that good decision!

Once we’d finally had enough (and the hill was closing) we made a detour to Government Camp for a slice of famous huckleberry pie. SO worth it. Then back down across the river to our house to let poor Simba out to pee. Despite the busy day  and collective exhaustion of the group, we had one last event to partake in before darkness settled: our annual Easter Egg Beer Hunt (a week late so our friends could join in). J painted and hid an assortment of beer, wine and liquor around the yard and let loose a bunch of crazy adults who’s competitive streaks suddenly reared their ugly heads. Four intelligent, successful, grown adults took off across the yard, pushing, yelling, grabbing, tricking their way to the hidden prizes like a group of rabid coyotes chasing after bunnies hidden in the grass. I would just like to point out that I may or may not have scored the most teeny liquor bottles (baby Pendleton-what what!!) but M&M is the brave soul who climbed the ladder to get the beer she doesn’t even like perched on the second-story window sill. She also found the bottle of wine, and JT rescued a delightful Bud Light with Clamato. AmS was the only other one besides me who was a veteran from last year, and she was in fine form as she checked trees and flowerbeds and tried tricking M&M away from her loot.

adult easter beer hunt, Trout Lake WA

Action shot of me and some of my winnings!

easter beer hunt, Trout Lake WA

Up she goes!

booze hunt for easter, Trout Lake WA

Winner winner chicken dinner! Really, we all win in this game…

After the day of skiing, followed by a wacky evening of hunting for booze in the backyard, you can image how zonked we all were. So we settled in for a night of enjoying our spoils and screaming at each other over some heated games of cards. I hope you’re still with me – this is the important part. AmS poured us girls some wine, JT dealt the cards, the fun reaching astronomical levels. Then came the faux fur stickers – who even brought these in the house?! Slowly, one by one, each of us ladies donned the itchy fashion statement – black curled mustaches for all the world to see.

And we felt fabulous. Maybe it was that 4th glass of wine talking, but I just couldn’t believe we hadn’t worn them all day long. I mean, c’mon, get a load of this bucket of hotness!!!

fake mustache on dog

The Cult’s latest recruits

Another awesome weekend with amazing friends, down in the books. And if anyone asks, Simba enjoyed every second of his involvement.





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